I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize