As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
