Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize