she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
