Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
this just has baby written all over it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
