i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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