So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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