What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
