I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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