Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
