Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
