just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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