apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
