Will you blow on my dice?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize