I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
smell my finger.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
