Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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