WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You can't just leave with hair like that
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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