Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
