Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
