You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
