they need to just BURY HIM!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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