There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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