The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
