wat bout pragnant strippers??
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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