Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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