god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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