I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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