I'm gonna have a badass scar
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think a kid would responsible me up
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
