how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...