loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
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Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
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Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.