Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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