Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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