We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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