I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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