they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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