i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
