Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
