either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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