i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
