I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
