Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
