My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
