i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.