...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I smell like Dick and happiness