you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
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Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
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"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
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