Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
