We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
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some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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