Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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