eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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