PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
is wine microwaveable?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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