Well douche your snatch and let's go!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
