its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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