I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
