it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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