OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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