Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
