I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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