using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
